Intentional Parenting, Age - Teens, Age - Toddlers, Age - Tweens, Mental Load
Dana Hirt
Sharing the Mental Load/Being a Co-CEO at Home

An imbalance in the “mental” aspect of parenting is where I see the most discrepancy – and sometimes it’s what lies underneath a couple’s presenting issue when they first start working with me.  Because even if both parents share equally in the execution of the tasks – or if they have the funds to outsource the cleaning, cooking, carpooling and childcare– one partner still does much of the heavy lifting that remains.

Sharing the Mental Load/Being a Co-CEO at Home
Age - Teens, college, Intentional Parenting, resilience, Teaching Resilience
Dana Hirt
Should Your Child Take a Gap Year?

The idea of taking a “gap year” – born of the independence of the post-war 60s generation that challenged themselves to create a life different from their parents – has come a long way in 70 years. Since the new millennia, it’s been taken up by parents and young people alike who have lived through the accelerating pace of the new world order – and see little chance for such an extended pause once they start college and forge fledgling careers.

Should Your Child Take a Gap Year?
Age - Teens, Age - Tweens, angry teens, Intentional Parenting, Teaching Resilience, Tech and Parenting, resilience
Dana Hirt
3 Step Response to the Teenage Distress Text

The text arrives, our blood pressure elevates, our tweens and teens want an immediate response, and all of a sudden we are down the rabbit hole. There is a better way. This three step response ensures our kids feel heard, but creates space for thoughtful engagement at the appropriate time.

3 Step Response to the Teenage Distress Text

Age - Teens

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Communication is Key to Sharing the Parenting Load

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Communication is Key to Sharing the Parenting Load

As I shared in last month’s post, there probably is not enough overt discussion between parents about how to divvy up the voluminous responsibilities of parenting and maintaining a household. Even if the everyday jobs of cooking, cleaning, carpooling and child-care are equally shared (or outsourced), parenting requires a huge amount of thinking, planning and strategizing that’s well-supported by research evidence.

No parent configuration is immune.  Disparity can occur whether you’re in a hetero, same-sex or other family configuration. The answer to finding equilibrium – like most problems between parents – is communication. 

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Sharing the Mental Load/Being a Co-CEO at Home

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Sharing the Mental Load/Being a Co-CEO at Home

An imbalance in the “mental” aspect of parenting is where I see the most discrepancy – and sometimes it’s what lies underneath a couple’s presenting issue when they first start working with me.  Because even if both parents share equally in the execution of the tasks – or if they have the funds to outsource the cleaning, cooking, carpooling and childcare– one partner still does much of the heavy lifting that remains.

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The Value of Reflection: Your Year-End Parenting Inventory

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The Value of Reflection: Your Year-End Parenting Inventory

At this time of year, I suspect your to-do list is more overflowing than ever. I get it. Mine is too. Actually, it was.

In a recent Instagram post, I shared my decision that this holiday season I would focus on the people and activities that have meaning and moment and are aligned with my values. Not surprisingly, these types of things seldom have anything to do with list-making or gift-buying.

In that spirit, I’m inviting you to prioritize what matters most to many parents: family. It’s a 3-step inventory for people who parent together – in every family configuration. The inventory is designed to help take stock of your personal parenting experience, assess wins and challenges in 2023, and determine the areas in which you want to put your energies and efforts during the coming year.

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Gratitude Offers Hope for Parenting through Tough Times

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Gratitude Offers Hope for Parenting through Tough Times

When kids are little, parents get to witness up close their tremendous capacity for learning and growth and delight. Our joy often arises spontaneously, and we feel overwhelmed with gratitude for the gift of parenting those amazing little beings.

As children grow and face normal developmental challenges, parenting can feel rocky as we watch our kids react with frustration or anxiety at milestones not yet mastered. But as long as we stay tethered to our values and use them to guide our decision-making, we can find reasons to be grateful during these times, too, particularly when we see evidence of our kids meeting their difficulties with resolve and determination.

No question, it’s easy to feel grateful when life is good and parenting feels manageable.

But what about those times when, as parents, we’re challenged to navigate an extremely difficult time in a child’s life? It’s one thing to feel grateful when a rocky time is in the rearview mirror. But how can we possibly feel gratitude when we’re in the middle of the maelstrom?

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Redefining Co-Parenting to Include Married Couples!

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Redefining Co-Parenting to Include Married Couples!

No two people parent the same way and no couple is immune to challenges in co-parenting their child/children. We all bring our personal experience of being parented to the job and we have different priorities, values, cultural experiences, etc. Yet, we need to learn ways to communicate, share authentically and compromise in order to co-parent effectively. This is even more true when navigating separation and/or divorce, but it is relevant in every family. Being married does not mean that the two of you share one approach to raising children. Learning better communication skills insures healthier collaboration, greater support and affirmation AND increases the odds of positive outcomes.

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What To Do With Your Kids' BIG Emotions?

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What To Do With Your Kids' BIG Emotions?

Big emotions, as you know, are natural for kids of all ages (and for adults, too!). That’s why before we attend to our child facing emotional dysregulation—it’s super critical for parents to regulate their own affect first.

Here’s some advice in the spirit of putting on your oxygen mask before helping others. As long as everyone is safe, there’s absolutely no harm in walking away from a screaming child to calm yourself down before engaging. When we feel emotionally triggered by a kid temporarily carried away by big emotions, it can make us feel out of control or impotent to the handle the situation. And chances are high that if both parent and child are dysregulated, they will spiral down together, making the upset harder to regulate and repair.