Saying “please” and “thank-you.” Learning how to share. Apologizing for hurting someone’s feelings.
The values behind these actions that most parents start teaching their kids early on – civility, collaboration, consideration of others – are a few of the primary values psychologists say your child should learn from you by the time they are 5 years old.
But two studies published early this year make it plain that in addition to those values, parents need to put special attention on modeling and teaching even their very young children the notion that all people have equal value – including those who have a different skin color, gender or speak differently – than your kids.
Toss the phrase “national conversation” into the ether these days and it’s abundantly clear you’re referring to the explosion of sexual harassment and sexual assault claims in entertainment, media, politics, and beyond. While the daily reveal of perpetrators has abated somewhat, what hasn’t stopped is the energy driving the conversation, as well as the analyses and proposed remedies by lots of folks.
As a parenting coach and champion of children, however, my interest is singular: How do we turn this national conversation into teachable moments for our kids?
Why would any parent be grateful for difficult situations that cause our children to struggle, have their feelings hurt, or even fail? According to a growing body of research, just about every parent on the planet should be. Psychologists and researchers have demonstrated that what differentiates kids, what helps them to develop the resilience and “grit” so crucial to navigating modern life, is learning how to deal with the challenges and tough times that are central to the human experience.
