“The more things change…the more they stay the same.” This feels incredibly apt right now as families face yet another back-to-school season in the time of Covid.
What’s really striking is that the collectively relieved parental vibe that clients, family and friends emitted even just a short six weeks ago has in recent days morphed into a lamentable chorus of here-we-go-agains.
Just when it had seemed children might have a quasi-normal, much-needed and highly recommended return to academic life (endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics), parents are once more fretting about sending kids into classrooms and feverishly scanning the headlines for sound medical guidance to allay their fears about the Delta coronavirus variant.
As one mother of a rising 4th grader shared: “While I’m not going to second-guess my city’s decision to return children to the classroom, I have much more anxiety about my unvaccinated child going to school this Fall than I did even a month ago. Naturally, I trust that school administrators have considered all the variables and will instate all the appropriate safety measures so that everyone — kids, teachers and staff — can stay safe. But the situation is far from ideal.”
Far, indeed. It’s hard to predict whether the CDC guidance for Covid prevention in K-12 schools, originally issued on July 9, will get a facelift given the alarming uptick in Covid infections. And it’s not farfetched to suppose that things could completely derail in September because with the pandemic, you just never know.
But one thing is certain: While there are still plenty of unknowns, there is still much parents can do to prepare their K-12 and college students for the coming academic year.
Manage your negative feelings. There’s a lot at stake this back-to-school season, so parents are facing a mixture of anxious, fearful and even contradictory (e.g., I’m afraid for my kid, but can’t wait for school to start) feelings. No matter what they are, be sure you have a safe place to discharge your anxiety and vent your frustration, either with other parents, a parenting coach, a therapist and/or friends. Address and validate your own experience so that the face your kids see is one they can rely on to help them manage their fears and keep them safe.
Acknowledge the greater good. Parents the world over are thrilled that the social isolation their have children faced the last 16 months is behind them. Moreover, in-person learning will address the inequities of distance learning exacerbated during the pandemic. These include mitigating the negative impact on academic achievement for students of color and non-English-speaking students; re-bridging the digital divide; and addressing the increase in mental health issues children and adolescents suffered during the pandemic.
Don’t sugarcoat it. Transitions are hard on everyone -- especially kids. So let yours know that it’s okay if they feel a little anxious about going back to school during Covid. If you emphasize how much fun they’ll have and how great it will be, you set your children up with the expectation that everything is going to be rosy. Which means you run the risk that they’ll lock up their fears inside for fear of disappointing you.
Do make sure you emphasize your confidence that the school will do everything possible to keep them safe. And reassure them that they’ll be able to debrief about their experience every day at home.
Gather as much information from your school district as you can. Now is the time to be a proactive parent. While many school districts will have similar safety measures in place (masking; regular testing; improved ventilation; social distancing; regular hand washing, keeping sick kids home), there will be local variations.
Remember -- the more you know about what the school year will look like, the sooner you can prepare your kids for what’s to come.
· For early-childhood learners, find out if there will be a pre-visit school day or a Zoom Open House to familiarize your child with their teacher and classroom. Also, try to get a class list and arrange a pre-school play date so that your child will see at least one familiar face on Day 1.
· For grade-schoolers, be sure to confirm what the drop-off/pick-up protocols will be and share them; consider a practice drill since it’s been such a long time since school was last in session.
· For teens, continue to be your kids’ frontal lobes. Ask “what if” questions, such as “What are you planning on doing after school? How do you plan to stay safe if you’re around kids that aren’t vaccinated? Role-play with them so they can practice how to deal with uncomfortable situations. Keep a watchful eye on any signs of anxiety.
· With college students, especially incoming freshmen, ensure they have all the supplies they’ll need (masks, hand sanitizer, etc). Encourage them to research school safety and testing protocols and familiarize themselves with the location and capacities of on-campus medical and mental health resources. Most important, ensure your family has a plan for what to do if they get Covid.
Reorient your kids to the realities of school life. Remote learning has had a profound impact on kids of all ages and grades, and many children may have forgotten about the rigors and challenges of school life. It may surprise them that the transition won’t be as smooth as they expect it to be.
While many children thrived academically during Covid, it could partly be because they had a lot of educational and psychic support at home from parents (or paid teachers/tutors) during the pandemic that they won’t have come Fall.
Engage your kids in conversation about the reality of an all-day scholastic program, the demands of independent learning and self-monitoring, and dealing with social distractions. Stay vigilant, especially in those first couple months. Keep a close watch on their homework and other performance metrics so you can be fully prepared for that first parent-teacher conference.
Many students experienced a loss of academic progress during the pandemic. If this is true for your child, be sure to arrange a meeting with teachers before the school year to set up tutoring or other educational scaffolding your children may need.
Be mindful of the pressures on teachers, school administrators and staff. Families aren’t the only ones feeling frazzled. Returning to the classroom will also be extraordinarily stressful for teachers, administrators and staff who want to keep kids safe while staying healthy themselves. Remember, these professionals went into education because of their passion for helping students learn. On the whole, their efforts during the pandemic have been Herculean, albeit imperfect. Be sure to express your appreciation for everything they do.
Be prepared to pivot. Change is inevitable during normal times, and more so during a global pandemic. So plan vigorously -- but be ready to change when the need arises.