Just as parents the world over were coming to grips with the reality that school would be virtual for the rest of the academic year, a new unknown loomed: What will summer look like in the midst of a worldwide pandemic?
This much we can assume -- it will not be summer as usual.
The sad fact is the virus isn’t going away. The science on whether or not summertime heat will “quiet” the virus is inconclusive at best. Even the once-promising impact of antibody testing isn’t a guarantee that we will be safe from reinfection or from infecting others. Nor can we predict what local or state restrictions will be. In short - we’re not going to get a green-light reprieve from the confines and challenges of the current situation.
So now what?
First, remember you’re not alone. Every parent and family is facing the same uncertainties and worries about how to maintain family health and unity throughout the summer in these unprecedented times. The not-so-good news is that no one delivers a one-size-fits-all solution that will make the questions of what to do this summer fall neatly into place. Each family’s plan needs to be individualized to fit your unique circumstances and needs.
What I offer is a template for what to be thinking about so you will be better equipped to create a new version of summer this year.
1. Take a deep breath. I know I am not alone in craving normalcy. Take a moment to digest the additional potential losses for yourself and your children. Camp, summer travel, summer jobs, etc. Each new loss can compound feelings of despair and heighten anxiety. Acknowledge this reality, but don’t allow it to keep your from the next steps.
2. Don’t wait to start strategizing. Don’t put your head in the sand in hopes that a cure or vaccine will make your what-if planning unnecessary. Compared to our old lives, the world could remain shut down -- including social distancing and stay-at-home orders -- for a couple more weeks or months. Make it a priority to think through various what-if scenarios with your partner, co-parent and/or family and close friends.
3. Assess your financial situation. If both parents are lucky enough to still have jobs, will one of you need to take a leave from work if your risk tolerance precludes sending kids to childcare or if summer camps don’t open? If you are a single working parent and don’t have the option of not working, what, if any, sources of outside income or support can you call upon?
4. Assess your risk tolerance. What are your feelings about being part of the first wave of workers returning to an office setting? If either or both parents are called back to work in an office setting, are you willing to take the risk of possible exposure to the virus or do you need to negotiate with your boss about continuing to work remotely?
As far as kids are concerned, are you comfortable sending children to childcare centers, camps or park districts this summer?
5. If you’re divorced, talk with your co-parent. Managing children between two households can be tough in normal times. Be sure to have a frank conversation about your respective needs and obligations over the summer with your co-parent. Utilize a mediator if necessary.
6. Contact your daycare centers and summer-camps.
The CDC has already issued guidelines for daycare centers. If your particular daycare center closed now but is reopening this summer, ask hard questions about their cleaning regimens and other plans to keep children safe. If they don’t have one this far into the crisis, consider investigating other providers.
If you’ve already registered your kids for summer camps, call and find out if they are strategizing options for families such as Camp-in-a-Box or other virtual experiences. Some camps may open depending on geography, so find out if they are instituting precautions such as limiting the number of children per group.
Parents of teens scheduled to work as camp counselors this summer also need to consider their tolerance for risk, as well as what to do if your teen gets the virus.
Many summer camps (local or sleep-away) are awaiting final CDC guidelines. Be sure to sign up for weekly CDC updates via newsletter.
7. Look to your tribe. It’s virtually impossible to maintain the existing scenario of being a full-time caregiver and maintain a full-time career. Since every family is going to need help, what is your tolerance for widening your quarantine circle? Can you bring parents, siblings or other close relatives into your orbit to help? What about neighborhood resources? Can parents help homebound teens on your block create a safe local version of “summer camp”?
As the pandemic has unfolded, I’ve spoken with many parents -- of both single and multiple children -- who are immensely concerned about the negative impact of ongoing social isolation on their kids. I hear the concerns -- and empathize completely. But children truly are resilient -- as long as parents remain engaged with them throughout this ordeal.
Expose them to what’s happening in the world and take advantage of the many teaching opportunities the pandemic offers. Provide lessons in empathy and community engagement by helping them sew masks to distribute or send thank-you cards to essential workers or isolated seniors. Help them gain essential skills like cooking, proper housecleaning and planting a garden. Engage their bodies and guard their mental health by building lots of physical activity and movement into their days (and yours!). Above all, be there when they need to vent or cry or express their feelings about their seemingly dashed end-of-school and summer plans. Be compassionate about the losses they are experiencing even as you practice gratitude for good health, resources, etc.
As absolutely tough as this is -- on every one of us -- I firmly believe families can and will recover. COVID-19 is offering an unsolicited master-class in resilience. Now is the time to start to think about what’s next for yourself and your family.