5 Students Report on 'College During COVID'

I spent a number of weeks this summer coaching distressed parents who were struggling with the decision of whether or not to send their kids to college as planned pre-pandemic. Given the reports of coronavirus outbreaks at colleges across the country, it’s safe to say those who decided Yes have had more than their share of fear and anxiety.

Every parent has a different story to tell. There is a subset who report feeling relief that their kids are at least having some sort of a college experience, albeit not ‘normal’. On the other end of the spectrum are parents frantically checking social media to ascertain if their children are practicing safe social distancing. And every parent worries about the call that tells us our kids are sick.  

Across the country, campuses are dealing with coronavirus outbreaks in myriad ways. The majority of schools quarantine students who have tested positive in special dorms. In fact, I recommended college students leave home with a packed quarantine bag for that precise reason. In some situations, kids who contract COVID-19 decide (or are instructed by mom and dad!) to come home to quarantine and recuperate with parents near at hand.

Overall, the situation on campus is tentative at best. With colder weather ahead, more students will be forced inside. That, coupled with the risk of COVID fatigue and flu season, has led many to guess that campuses could see an uptick in cases.

But let’s look at the situation from the students’ perspective. Here’s a sampling of what five students from across the country are witnessing, thinking about and feeling about “college during COVID.”

Freshman, University of Iowa Tippie College of Business, Iowa City, IA

This freshman in Iowa says “many kids are acting like everything is normal” -- with the expected consequence that they’re contracting COVID-19. In fact, she’s noticed a number of empty dorm rooms lately, presumably students who are quarantining elsewhere.

To date, she’s kept her pod small and they are careful about social distancing, but other people are “out and about.” Like other students I’ve heard from, this young woman says she is academically thriving despite the fact that one of her two in-person classes has already gone remote for the time being because of COVID exposure.

Socially, the situation on campus is hard, she says. After all, unlike upperclassmen, freshmen simply don’t have previous friendships to rekindle in the new academic year. And “with all the coronavirus precautions come fewer opportunities to meet and connect with fellow students, not to mention tons more isolation and downtime.”

With colder weather on the horizon in Iowa, social distanced hangouts on the quad will force students inside -- which doesn’t bode well.

Freshman, University of Georgia, Athens, GA

This freshman notes that within the dorms, most students are operating as they should be. Masks are required and are being worn. In the bathrooms, students are assigned specific showers and changing stalls. From her perspective, since there is no monitoring of whether students are adhering, the strictures seems more about demonstrating effort on the part of the college versus true accountability.

She notes students are not supposed to go into other dorm buildings or other rooms. Not surprisingly, given the not-fully-developed pre-frontal cortex of 18-year-olds, she admits that she and some of her friends have been sneaking into other girls’ rooms. If they’re caught, they get “written up” by the RA. So far, she says, she was caught but hasn’t received an official citation so is “in the clear.”

As for when students get COVID, they either go into quarantine dorms or check into hotels. She also knows that some students with COVID are simply not reporting it and are isolating in their dorms.

Freshman, Brandeis University, Waltham, MA

“A little strange and a little exciting” is how this freshman describes his first few weeks at Brandeis. Naturally, he enjoys living a more independent lifestyle and the freedom of selecting which courses he wanted to take. What has surprised him is how much faster the coursework is versus high school, but he’s acclimating and enjoying the work.

Unlike at a large number of colleges, three of his four classes are actually in person, and he feels the university has done a great job of optimizing everything for the pandemic. While he appreciates that effort in terms of safety and students and professors are engaged, he admits “it does feel a bit alienating at times, like I’m in my own little bubble.” Oddly, the course that is online is music. Anyone who has been in a Zoom meeting is familiar with the platform’s lack of synchronicity, so it’s a bit of a disappointment for him - but the professor’s efforts and resources make up for it.

Newly diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes just a couple weeks before leaving home, he says “this is no doubt the strangest part” of college life. Forced to pay strict attention to when and how he eats, he’s not always able to go to the dining hall when everyone else does and sit at a table and start a conversation with someone -- which is how he was accustomed to meeting people in high school. Even coordinating meals with friends is hard at times.

What’s surprised him the most about college life is “how easily people adapted to the COVID regulations. “Walking around campus,” he says, it looks very similar to how life was at the beginning of the year” -- except, gratefully, everyone is wearing masks and following social distancing guidelines. For a variety of reasons, it took him a bit longer to get comfortable being outside and doing stuff, but once he made the leap, it felt good to do so again.

Junior, University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA

After a cross-country drive from Chicago, this USC junior spent two days settling into his off-campus studio apartment with his girlfriend. When they stopped by the USC Village to grab lunch the day before classes began, essentially everyone they saw was wearing a mask -- but there was hardly anyone around! As he put it, “It felt more like a random day of winter break than the start of the semester.” The tableau was so unlike the thousands of students and families who, pre-pandemic, would have been circulating the plaza.

During the first week of online classes, he found himself pleasantly surprised by how discussion-based his courses were -- even over Zoom. But by the end of week two -- with the addition of online socializing and six hours of “virtual” band practice -- Zoom fatigue was already setting in. As he so aptly describes it, “Something about spending hour after hour sitting and staring at your computer screen sucks the life out of you.” Another reminder that this is “no normal semester?” With USC football inactive, he won’t have the payoff of marching on the field playing his bass drum with the 300-member Trojan Marching Band in front of a sold-out coliseum!

USC is doing random COVID testing of students, and he’s had several tests so far. USC is offering free, unlimited testing for non-symptomatic individuals. Unfortunately, he reports, “cases have been spiking lately. During the week of August 30, the positive percentage rate jumped from 3.6% to 17.5%, with 137 students testing positive.” Interestingly, he notes a Los Angeles Times article that indicated what’s spreading the disease isn’t necessarily large gatherings, but the smaller day-to-day hangouts, with individuals spreading the virus from bubble to bubble. Apparently big parties aren’t the only sort of gathering to be mindful about.

If it weren’t for his internal motivation to get out and exercise, the welcoming warmth of southern California weather and the many outdoor activities available within a short drive of USC, it would be easy to spend all his time in his small studio. Fortunately, he and his girlfriend are going on hikes, biking and playing tennis, enjoying socially distanced meals with friends outside -- and even baking pastries for friends at the drumline house who are running a contactless café. Recent air quality concerns have forced them inside, as if the pandemic wasn’t enough to navigate.

The strange thing about this new normal is that the routine is pretty limited, he says. “All of our essential activities take place over zoom, so unless you go out of your way to do so, you would not have to leave the apartment at all.”

Senior, University of Georgia, Athens, GA  (sibling of UGA freshman above)

Given the public health crisis, the presence or absence of college sports programs varies. According to this senior, Georgia’s student body is very committed to making sure football season continues -- and equally committed to keeping freshmen and sophomores on campus. Students are wearing masks and classes are mostly online. Courses with smaller numbers of students are doing a hybrid style, but she says that for her, multiple approaches make scheduling class times and other activities harder to track.

Early on there was a COVID-19 breakout on campus, she says, but it’s pretty controlled at this point. Georgia tracks coronavirus cases through a self-reporting digital platform called DAWG check. Students, faculty and staff with COVID are asked to be personally accountable and update their symptoms and test results daily. If students report erroneously on the site, they are sent to the Student Honor Board.

Strikingly, two of her 10 roommates have contracted COVID-19 it so far - and it’s barely the end of September. As a house, they made the decision to quarantine until everyone tested negative.

Personally, she says although she has had social plans and some people are going to the bars, there’s a lot more downtime than usual and she admits to feeling lonely at times.

From her vantage point, the University of Georgia “kinda turns a blind eye. I would say it’s the most laid back out of every school I’ve heard about right now, but it’s not the right way to be.”

College Bound Face COVID-19 (Parents, Too!)

Last week, I watched my youngest son, a college junior, drive away from home en route to his off-campus apartment in California. As it happens every time one of my kids leave, a part of me broke. Especially knowing that because of COVID, I won’t be flying out to watch him play his big bass drum during halftime at a football game. And it’s the first time any of the kids have left for college without definitive plans for their next trip home.

As I mourned the loss and struggled with the uncertainty, I reminded myself how grateful I am that my co-parent and I raised three launch-able kids.

Truth be told, a big part of me wished my son would have stayed home and studied online. But he wanted to go back, and he’s proven himself to be a responsible young adult many times over, especially through the pandemic. So as he loaded up the car with his stuff, I supplemented with disinfecting wipes and spray, several boxes of disposable masks, a fully stocked medical kit including a pulse oximeter, an instant-read thermometer and electrolyte tabs -- hoping for the best.

Your student is likely departing soon as well and like the majority of families you’re in the thick of final travel preparations. Yet surprisingly, some campuses are still in flux. 

As of this writing, about a quarter of the nearly 3,000 colleges and universities in the U.S. have not yet decided which educational approach their campus will take: fully online; primarily online; hybrid; primarily in person; fully in person; and “other” (whatever that might mean). Not only is there no national standard, even within large cities, schools are taking varied approaches.

It almost doesn’t matter which pedagogical approach campuses are taking because absolutely nothing will be “normal” about college this year. The near-total loss of a normative college experience -- developing new learning communities, dorm life, study abroad, football season, Greek life, if desired -- is hard on everyone. As parents, we need to manage our own feelings of sadness even as we help our kids manage their expectations.

Considering the high-stakes decision schools are making by welcoming students back to campus, most have exhaustive plans for mitigating contagion on campus, including:

·      Strictly scheduled and time-limited dorm drop-offs

·      Online dorm orientations and at some schools, no roommates

·      No parent-and-family weekends

·      Mask-wearing and social distancing mandates

·      Increased number of remote classes

·      Grab-and-go vs. sit-down cafeterias

·      Big Ten, PAC-12 and other sports (plus bands) off the calendar for Fall

·      Size limits for gatherings

·      Spring study abroad cancelled

·      Regularly coronavirus testing

·      Codified quarantine plans for infected students

·      Severe penalties (suspension and/or expulsion) for those who don’t comply.

Despite the many precautions, every parent is justifiably worried that no matter how careful your kids are, they could contract COVID-19 -- or a campus-wide outbreak could occur. Already a dorm at Colorado College is under quarantine and UNC reported COVID-19 positivity rates at Campus health up from 2.8% to 13.6% in just one week resulting in a complete shift to remote learning for undergraduates.

That’s precisely what parents and students need to plan for. Here’s how:

Flex your parental muscles before they leave. COVID fatigue has set in for a lot of young people. It’s understandable: being vigilant isn’t particularly fun. Our college-bound kids need to understand that they are the sole arbiters of their health and safety on and off campus. That means establishing boundaries with roommates and friends from the start and calling out those who act recklessly. If necessary, they must advocate for themselves by reaching out to administrators or parents for guidance and support.

Have an inviolable communications agreement. No matter how cautious your child is or how much you’ve drilled the importance of safety measures into them, they still may get sick. In some cases, they may be reluctant to tell you. Have an agreement that they will let you know if they start to have any kind of symptoms. They must believe you’re their 9-1-1, no matter what.

HIPPA. Another top priority is to be sure they’ve signed off on the required HIPPA forms so medical providers can legally talk to you if they get sick.

Medical care. Find out in advance what on-campus Health Services are available whether your kid gets COVID or has a chronic condition that increases their risk. Your child needs to know what resources are available. Also, identify a physician/telehealth provider and a hospital near campus. Finally, think through several scenarios whereby near-by relatives or friends may be able to help if your child gets COVID-19 and needs assistance.

Have an exit strategy. If there’s a major outbreak on campus and the school shuts down, they will need an exit plan. This includes knowing what transportation method they will use to get them home or where they’ll stay if they remain.

As parents inevitably learn, no matter how well we plan, nothing is set in stone -- especially now. The best parents can do is be nimble, flexible and ready to pivot as quickly as required. Our children need to be a part of this planning and we need to continue to help them anticipate consequences and think through scenarios.

Pandemic life feels more like a wartime environment than anything I’ve ever experienced as a parent. It’s just that this “enemy” is invisible to the naked eye. All we can do is prepare our kids as best we can, then hope they practice healthy behaviors and adhere to the moral compass we helped them develop.

What's Next? Planning a COVID-19 Summer

Just as parents the world over were coming to grips with the reality that school would be virtual for the rest of the academic year, a new unknown loomed: What will summer look like in the midst of a worldwide pandemic?

This much we can assume -- it will not be summer as usual.

The sad fact is the virus isn’t going away. The science on whether or not summertime heat will “quiet” the virus is inconclusive at best. Even the once-promising impact of antibody testing isn’t a guarantee that we will be safe from reinfection or from infecting others. Nor can we predict what local or state restrictions will be. In short - we’re not going to get a green-light reprieve from the confines and challenges of the current situation.

So now what?

First, remember you’re not alone. Every parent and family is facing the same uncertainties and worries about how to maintain family health and unity throughout the summer in these unprecedented times. The not-so-good news is that no one delivers a one-size-fits-all solution that will make the questions of what to do this summer fall neatly into place. Each family’s plan needs to be individualized to fit your unique circumstances and needs.

What I offer is a template for what to be thinking about so you will be better equipped to create a new version of summer this year.

1.     Take a deep breath. I know I am not alone in craving normalcy. Take a moment to digest the additional potential losses for yourself and your children. Camp, summer travel, summer jobs, etc. Each new loss can compound feelings of despair and heighten anxiety. Acknowledge this reality, but don’t allow it to keep your from the next steps.

2. Don’t wait to start strategizing. Don’t put your head in the sand in hopes that a cure or vaccine will make your what-if planning unnecessary. Compared to our old lives, the world could remain shut down -- including social distancing and stay-at-home orders -- for a couple more weeks or months. Make it a priority to think through various what-if scenarios with your partner, co-parent and/or family and close friends.

3.     Assess your financial situation. If both parents are lucky enough to still have jobs, will one of you need to take a leave from work if your risk tolerance precludes sending kids to childcare or if summer camps don’t open? If you are a single working parent and don’t have the option of not working, what, if any, sources of outside income or support can you call upon?

4.     Assess your risk tolerance. What are your feelings about being part of the first wave of workers returning to an office setting? If either or both parents are called back to work in an office setting, are you willing to take the risk of possible exposure to the virus or do you need to negotiate with your boss about continuing to work remotely?

As far as kids are concerned, are you comfortable sending children to childcare centers, camps or park districts this summer?

5.     If you’re divorced, talk with your co-parent. Managing children between two households can be tough in normal times. Be sure to have a frank conversation about your respective needs and obligations over the summer with your co-parent. Utilize a mediator if necessary.

6.     Contact your daycare centers and summer-camps.

The CDC has already issued guidelines for daycare centers. If your particular daycare center closed now but is reopening this summer, ask hard questions about their cleaning regimens and other plans to keep children safe. If they don’t have one this far into the crisis, consider investigating other providers.

If you’ve already registered your kids for summer camps, call and find out if they are strategizing options for families such as Camp-in-a-Box or other virtual experiences. Some camps may open depending on geography, so find out if they are instituting precautions such as limiting the number of children per group.

Parents of teens scheduled to work as camp counselors this summer also need to consider their tolerance for risk, as well as what to do if your teen gets the virus.

Many summer camps (local or sleep-away) are awaiting final CDC guidelines. Be sure to sign up for weekly CDC updates via newsletter.

7.     Look to your tribe. It’s virtually impossible to maintain the existing scenario of being a full-time caregiver and maintain a full-time career. Since every family is going to need help, what is your tolerance for widening your quarantine circle? Can you bring parents, siblings or other close relatives into your orbit to help? What about neighborhood resources? Can parents help homebound teens on your block create a safe local version of “summer camp”?

As the pandemic has unfolded, I’ve spoken with many parents -- of both single and multiple children -- who are immensely concerned about the negative impact of ongoing social isolation on their kids. I hear the concerns -- and empathize completely. But children truly are resilient -- as long as parents remain engaged with them throughout this ordeal.

Expose them to what’s happening in the world and take advantage of the many teaching opportunities the pandemic offers. Provide lessons in empathy and community engagement by helping them sew masks to distribute or send thank-you cards to essential workers or isolated seniors. Help them gain essential skills like cooking, proper housecleaning and planting a garden. Engage their bodies and guard their mental health by building lots of physical activity and movement into their days (and yours!). Above all, be there when they need to vent or cry or express their feelings about their seemingly dashed end-of-school and summer plans. Be compassionate about the losses they are experiencing even as you practice gratitude for good health, resources, etc.

As absolutely tough as this is -- on every one of us -- I firmly believe families can and will recover. COVID-19 is offering an unsolicited master-class in resilience. Now is the time to start to think about what’s next for yourself and your family.

How to Make Politics a Family Affair

Politics has become more rancorous than ever. The divisiveness played out daily in the media may be intended for adult-eyes only, but our kids are affected -- and sometimes even targeted -- by the polarized political environment we live in.

But wait! Ever the parental optimist, I believe the current election cycle is an ideal opportunity to advance three key aims:

1.     Educate our children -- of all ages -- about the democratic process and our role in it as members of the body politic.

2.     Share and demonstrate how our personal values shape not only our parenting decisions but all our life choices, including who we vote for and the issues we engage in.

3.     Foster the development of our kids’ values and be respectful, even when (especially when) their burgeoning political perspectives differ from our own. 

Not to mention, even the most unsavory aspects of the current climate can become object lessons when we create the lens through which our kids view such political discourse.

For example, uncivil speech and name-calling can be lessons in how not to communicate about issues and/or with adversaries. We can also help our kids decode the messaging in political ads, separating fiction from facts…just like we teach them to see how advertisers try to influence them in commercials and social media.

And the parade of political pundits and polls? Let’s help our kids learn how to challenge the news. An opinion expressed on a news channel can be rightly shown to be just that, an opinion. And polls, as we well know, are incomplete and often wrong (cue the 2016 election).

Just how can parents make politics a family affair for kids of all ages?  

PRESCHOOLERS

·       Political posters and garden flags are just about their height, so while you’re on a walk with little ones, tailor your comments to their level of understanding. While three-year-olds can’t process a lecture about the three branches of government, they can grasp what it means to be someone who’s in charge.

·       Speaking of which, you might ask them what would they do if they were the president. Developmentally, of course, they think it means they’d be the boss of everything. Help them see that it’s like at home, where mommies and daddies are in charge of important things, but kids can have opinions and preferences, too. That it’s the well-being of the whole family that really matters.

GRADESCHOOLERS

·       Because of how powerful we parents still are to children this age, be judicious when discussing politics with grade school-aged children. It’s possible to be resolute about your values without legislating your kid’s stance.

·       Introduce the importance of voting by taking them to the polling place with you. Let them know you can use notes and outside resources, and that leaving something blank because you aren’t well-enough informed doesn’t negate the rest of your ballot.

·       Even if it’s not happening on the national stage, model consensus building at home.

o   Demonstrate a key tenet of democracy -- majority rules -- by scheduling a family meeting about where to go on a family vacation or some other decision where everyone’s input is appropriate.

o   Be sure to talk about the importance of the minority opinion – and how it can help inform and shape the majority. After all, our president still needs to represent 100% of the people no matter the outcome of the election.

·       Point out how more and more women and people of color are running for office, ensuring that diverse voices and viewpoints become standard.

·       Read kid’s books with political themes together. Share and discuss a political cartoon. And when traveling, visit state capitols and/or historical museums. 

TEENS

·       One of my parenting values is that teenagers get to figure out what’s important to them. Encourage teens to do their own research and figure out how they feel about the candidates and the issues.

·       Another value is respecting their stances -- even when they’re molded by idealism or age-induced immaturity. Challenge their thinking, of course, but do so respectfully and in a manner that demonstrates how to give airtime to alternate sides of an issue.

·       Be supportive if they express a lot of passion about gun control or the environment, issues that teens often feel particularly impacted by.

·       Watch debates together while simultaneously logged onto a fact-checker site.

·       Reach out to friends and colleagues who are more engaged in politics and enlist them as resources for teens who have questions beyond your ability to answer.

·       Advise them to be mindful of social media’s role and influence on politics. Teens are less discerning about what they see on social media, so be sure to talk about the use of targeted and negative ads used to sway voters.

COLLEGE-AGE

·       Remind college students to register to vote in their college state, where their vote might make more of an impact than a vote at home; let them know about absentee ballots if they prefer to vote in their home state.

·       Encourage young adults to get involved in campaigns if they feel strongly about the issues or a particular candidate.

·       When they’re home during breaks pre-election, engage with them. Ask about their political perspectives on topical issues.

A chief parental role -- and one of our highest hopes -- is to grow our kids into young adults who can engage in and contribute to society. Politics is a real-life opportunity to create civic-minded offspring, so be sure to take advantage of it.

The Dos and Don'ts of Helping Your College Grad

Calling all helicopter (and other) parents of soon-to-be college grads!

Wondering if it is acceptable to lend a job-search hand to your kids? There’s great news on that front according to placement pros – if we rein in our exuberance and let their kids do the heavy lifting.

I like the simplicity of Dos and Don’ts. Ever the optimist, let’s start with the DOs.

DO…be supportive. It takes courage for anyone to pit their skills, smarts and savvy against other qualified candidates – no matter how welcoming the job market. Parents can offer reassurance that our kids are on the right path or provide a tweak in their approach, and that may be all that some college grads want or need.

 DO… encourage your college senior to take every advantage of their college placement office. These pros offer resources to help students launch a successful job search, including resume writing, job fairs and help preparing for interviews. In addition, they can help grads tap into alumni networks. And they’re part of what all those hard-earned tuition dollars fund, so students ought not miss the opportunity to get their money’s worth! If available and affordable, working with a career coach can help them align their strengths and their professional desires.

DO…leverage your network of relevant friends and business associates. Help the college grads in your orbit learn more about available careers and tap into the hidden job market through informational interviews. Not only do such meetings help prospective graduates learn about the day-to-day reality of particular careers, they also provide opportunities to practice talking about their capabilities in a professional setting.

To close friends of the family, you can probably send a group email to share that your child is soon to graduate and to be prepared for a reach out, which of course they are free to decline. I have served in this role for a number of my friends’ children and have enjoyed every encounter and helped make valuable connections.

To business and professional colleagues, I’d err on the side of individual emails asking if they’d be open to hearing from your child who just graduated from [name of university] with a degree in [blank]. Be sure to offer a wide berth for them to bow out if the timing isn’t right or if they’d simply rather not. If they do agree, only then would I send a second email with a cyber introduction to your grad.

DO…offer your grad these fundamental tips about informational interviews:

·      Arrive promptly and dress professionally

·      Use a notepad to keep track of your questions and take notes

·      Keep mobile phones off and out of sight

·      Ask both broad (How did your career get started?) and specific and relevant questions (What is the profile a the person most recently hired at my level?)

·      Inquire about internship opportunities

·      Don’t leave without asking to be connected to another professional (or two) to interview

·      Be responsible for ending the meeting on time

·      Follow up promptly with a written thank-you note if possible

DO…recommend a pre-career lesson in financial literacy. Have them spend a session or two with a financial adviser (some do it gratis in hopes of future business) so they can learn what salary they’ll need to earn in order to meet the demands of their soon-to-be-adult life. Many parents entirely fund their children’s college careers, making our kids entirely clueless just how much it costs to house, feed, clothe, entertain and build a nest egg for oneself. Becoming financially literate about budgeting and how to take advantage of 401k plans are lessons well learned.

DO…remind them that social media is not just about having fun! And while it may seem obvious, it doesn’t hurt to remind our grads to leverage social media platforms for professional networking like LinkedIn, Meetup and Jobcase. In addition, its helpful to remind them that their social media presence is available to potential employers and they should be thoughtful of how they could be perceived based on what they post.

Now, what shouldn’t parents do?

DON’T...do anything your graduate could and should do for themselves. In other words, don’t write their resume or cover letters; set up appointments, research (or accompany them to) job fairs, asking interviewers for questions in advance or attempting to sit in on interviews. These may sound like absurd acts, but placement professionals say parents have tried to control the process in just these ways.

DON’T… attach your grad’s resume or boast about their achievements and aspirations when you contact your network. Relaying pertinent information is strictly your kid’s responsibility. As is diligently preparing themselves for these interviews.

DON’T… steer your kids into a personally admired or known-to-be-lucrative career. We all want our children to have a fulfilling and rewarding professional life. That’s a given. But when you try to cajole your grad into a career of your choosing, you not only undermine their confidence in their capabilities and desires…you’ll more than likely put them on a path that will require them to retrace their steps once the inevitable dissatisfaction sets in.

DON’T…continue to support them without forethought and communication. If you want to provide financial support for your burgeoning careerists – especially if your kid’s dream job doesn’t pay enough to support them fully – consider several forms of in-kind contributions.

Perhaps you could let them live at home (with agreed upon rules and ongoing communication). You might also agree to keep them on your health insurance until age 26. Or offer the use of an extra family car. If you choose to provide direct financial assistance, set expectations for when the money train will stop or clarify the kinds of expenses you are willing to cover. After all, isn’t helping our children grow into competent, capable and confident adults the end-result we’ve all been working toward?