No matter what summer looked like for your family, now is the time to for parents and kids of all ages to start setting expectations and creating routines for the school year.
Remember – transitions are hard! Once kids get into routines and patterns of behavior, they can be hard to disrupt, which is what makes advance preparation so important. Good news is that with a little practice, they’ll soon get the knack of being back in school! And so will you.
Below are some general tips for back-to-school prep and a few age-specific challenges worth noting.
When to talk “back-to-school”? Although parents think about back-to-school planning long before they talk to their kids about it, early August is the time to start sharing your back-to-school plans and expectations with the kids.
Caveat. You know your kids best. If they’re more vulnerable to transitions than their peers, you’ve probably already started to prep them in specific ways that meet their unique needs.
Have a family meeting. Share your ideas for morning and after-school routines to get everyone on the same page with the plan that works best for your family. For example, in my home, one rule was that before bedtime, backpacks had to contain all the requisite homework, permission slips, fees, gym clothes and miscellany for the following school day – and lunches were packed and in the fridge. It wasn’t flawless, but there were surprisingly few mishaps. When I noticed a slide into last minute scrambling, we had a meeting to recommit to the plan.
Shop early! New clothes, shoes and/or uniform staples. Sports uniforms. School supplies. Lunch boxes. If you want the best selection and pricing, don’t wait to load up on school gear – especially if you have more than one to shop for. If you’re unsure of what specific supplies your kids will need, ask the school for a list. But be prepared for another run during first week of school once teachers weigh in on required items for their class.
Calendar it. Seeing their schedules on paper (or digitally) makes it easier for kids to understand what the week looks like. Be sure to notate any regular tutoring sessions, music lessons and after-school sports. If you don’t want homework to fall through the cracks, use this strategy to help your kids internalize what needs to get done – and when.
Embrace the dress rehearsal! If there is a new school, a new start time or a newly working parent in the picture, I highly recommend doing a trial transportation run, whether that’s walking them to the bus stop, riding the train together or driving to school at the appointed time. Even if there isn’t anything “new” about the school year, a dress rehearsal is still a good idea – especially if a caregiver is involved.
Here are a few ways to mitigate developmental challenges
Little people. If there’s an opportunity to take your preschooler or kindergartener to school in advance (many schools offer visiting days) don’t miss it. The fewer the number of surprises on Day One, the better your little one will feel. Letting them meet their teacher, see their classroom and sayhi to a few classmates-to-be goes a long way toward reducing their anxiety and increasing their excitement.
Once school starts, be early for drop off – and on time for pick-up. Early arrival, especially at first, means there are fewer children to overwhelm them. And don’t be late! They need to trust you’re coming back. If a sitter or nanny is doing the pick-up, impress timeliness upon them as well. And just an FYI, don’t schedule play dates that first week. Your kiddies will likely have expended their psychic energy for the day as they adjust to the new school routine. Let them chill.
Primary schoolers. The big changes here are more structure during the school day and the onset of homework. This focus on more work and less play is a big transition for your kids, so be sure to be supportive as they adjust.
Many schools have “Move-up Day” towards the end of the school year, when kids get to see their new classrooms and meet their prospective teachers. If your child got to experience this, be sure to remind them of how excited they were last Spring.
Middle schoolers. There’s even more compartmentalization and structure in grades 6-8, so be sure they know in advance what to expect. Homeroom. Moving to a new classroom for each subject. More (and tougher) homework. These are the norm. Not to mention, there are a lot more personalities to adjust to.
This is also the stage to establish a regular place for homework, whether that’s in the kitchen (if they prefer your presence) or at a desk. Ease their anxiety by maintaining a fully stocked school supply cart close at hand. (TIP: Always keep several tri-fold poster boards in your home school supply closet. I guarantee you there will come a time when you will thank me!)
Be sure to explore in advance whether your middle school offers team sports – which is a fun and exciting addition for kids. Be sure to note try-out times, which often happen in advance of the school year.
High school. This is the big league for teens no matter what grade. To usher it in for incoming freshmen, consider hosting a BBQ for kids and their parents. It helps to put everyone on an equal footing. Plus your teen may click with someone in a more casual and less pressurized setting.
Typically, returning high schoolers have some work to complete over the summer. By now, that should be well in hand. If not, address it yesterday. Set a deadline of one week prior to the day school starts so that the last week before classes start is pure summer (for parents, too!). Encourage them to strive to submit their best work because this is their only chance to make a good first impression.
Clothes? If there’s a dress code, make sure they know it. Otherwise, let (most of) their choices be. As I advise all parents of teens, pick your battles…because there will be plenty of them.
A super important note about teens with special needs. In the primary grades, it’s primarily the parent’s responsibility to partner with the school to ensure IEPs and 504s are communicated and adhered to. But once your teen with a learning difference hits high school, you need to support them in taking responsibility for their learning – and their learning profile. If not, they won’t know how to advocate for themselves in college.
If you’d like to discuss your back-to-school challenges, just email me.
Enjoy the last few weeks of summer vacation!