Saying “please” and “thank-you.” Learning how to share. Apologizing for hurting someone’s feelings.
The values behind these actions that most parents start teaching their kids early on – civility, collaboration, consideration of others – are a few of the primary values psychologists say your child should learn from you by the time they are 5 years old.
But two studies published early this year make it plain that in addition to those values, parents need to put special attention on modeling and teaching even their very young children the notion that all people have equal value – including those who have a different skin color, gender or speak differently – than your kids.
Toss the phrase “national conversation” into the ether these days and it’s abundantly clear you’re referring to the explosion of sexual harassment and sexual assault claims in entertainment, media, politics, and beyond. While the daily reveal of perpetrators has abated somewhat, what hasn’t stopped is the energy driving the conversation, as well as the analyses and proposed remedies by lots of folks.
As a parenting coach and champion of children, however, my interest is singular: How do we turn this national conversation into teachable moments for our kids?
Would you like to (mostly) guarantee your kids will still want to join you on a family vacation when they’re in their 20s? Or at the very least, will think of their childhood fondly – and repeat some of your best parenting practices? If so, you need to celebrate the sacredness, quirkiness and downright fun of your family unit from the second they’re out of the womb.
If you already missed that boat, it’s not too late to start today.
“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.”
William W. Purkey
I totally agree with Mr. Purkey’s sage counsel. Yet from a parenting perspective, I think his ditty is missing an important line:
“Make parenting decisions like no one’s opinion matters.”
